Recovery is....

March 07, 2016

Happy Monday, friends! I was originally going to link up with Julia for the first ever Mental Health Monday but looks like that'll have to wait til next week.

Honestly, I'm not feeling too great at the moment (aka Sunday evening when I was typing this up). I was lost in my thought spiral again this weekend, criticizing every little thing about myself. But that's okay. I am grateful to recognize what I'm doing in the moment and allow myself to feel blah. It's a new day! And hey, only 4 more (school) days until Spring Break!

Whenever I wear this shirt (see above ^^^), I am reminded no matter what I am feeling or how I am feeling that is still part of recovery. That each step I am taking is part of this overall roller-coaster ride. Recovery doesn't mean just taking steps forward so things are magically sugar, spice & everything nice, where life is 110% better. The shirt assures me that I am progressing regardless of where I think I'm at mentally, emotionally, or physically. Whether it be days like today, where I feel like like a complete loser and failure at life, or on days where even the most banal moments excite me.

Part of my recovery has been learning about what it means to be in recovery. So, I decided to write a little few one-line definitions on my discoveries:

Recovery is a choice.
Recovery is acceptance.
Recovery is being raw & exposed & loved & honest.
Recovery is personal, not one-size-fits-all.
Recovery is more than numbers.
Recovery is lying on the floor throwing a tantrum and hating yourself for not knowing why.

Recovery is letting go.
Recovery is discovering your worth.
Recovery is crying at Twisted Root, frustrated because you can't figure out what you want to eat.
Recovery is morning selfies with disheveled hair and intense eye-bags.
Recovery is waking up feeling like shit.
Recovery is waking up feeling on top of the world.
Recovery is facing the mirror and being content with what you see.
Recovery is looking back at where you were and being astonished at how far you've come.

What does recovery mean to you?
How do you cope when you're caught in a negative thought spiral?
Tell me about what you did this weekend! 

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  1. Hey Kaylee! Can't wait to read your future submissions to MHM! But this is a great post. Recovery is personal and the minute you choose to do it, you are already 10,000,000x stronger than your ED, even if you don't realize it. I'm rooting for you girl!

    1. Thank you so much Caroline! I really needed to hear this right now. 💗