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    Good morning friends!! And happy Hump Day. I'm counting down the hours before I get to hop on a plane for my weekend trip to New York (approximately 33.5 by the way). Given how often I really should rename this, reads of the month instead. Also, I know I've been a tad quiet on the blog-verse lately but hopefully all these can tide you over until I get return. So in this case, wishing you a happy weekend as well.

    A couple of Rachel's recent-ish posts-- How Not to Self-Care and The Privilege of Wellness. How grateful I am to have the problems I do because life could be much worse. Not to say that my problems aren't valid, but perspective is all.

    On a semi-related note of self-care, love these boring self-care wins.



    Has the Smartphone Destroyed a Generation? Fair warning, it's a lengthy one, but definitely a must-read.

    Since the concept of balance is so engrained in our society, this idea that perhaps we actually need less balance gave me something interesting to ponder. Being able to build internal self awareness and the ability to distance yourself from the 'zone,' from the flow to life effectively and wholly. 

    "you’ve got to be a minimalist to be a maximalist; if you want to be really good, master and thoroughly enjoy one thing, you’ve got to say no to many others."

    A quick and easy lesson for catching and counteracting your negative thoughts. Very DBT-esque.

    In short, control is not the cure for your anxiety. Sometimes specifically around food to retain control, to regain control  is to let go of it.

    Don't forget to celebrate the miracle that is your body. There's more to it than just your physical exterior.

    What our Google search questions are really saying about us

    Megan of Apron Strings and Sticky Fingers on learning to embrace your biggest insecurities. 

    A little reminder for myself even if i'm not a physically affectionate person (hello quality time love language!) on the power of a hug. 

    I can get lost in this visual representation of food seasonality, trend and search patterns for days.

    Because we know what time of year it is.. 

    From my favorite writer on Thought Catalog, another goodie on self-deprecating habits we're all too familiar with. 

    As someone who has never really identified as being maternal, since even when playing pretend as a kid myself I never played the mom (I was the cool, childless aunt), this article on choosing to have a life without kids spoke to me.

    Love the analogy that Kylie makes on eating and breathing in regard to supposed willpower around food. To continue, similarly to learning to cultivate awareness of your breath--not control or discipline--, through intuitive eating, we can cultivate awareness around food and eating, so much so that it will become second nature to us.

    And lastly, what does the American dream mean to you?

    Questions:
    What boring self-care habit did you do today? 
    Do you think balance is overrated? 
    What food are your looking forward to as the fall season rolls around? I personally can't wait for pomegranates & persimmons!!! 

    Continue Reading

    Before this Thinking Out Loud Thursday ends, asking for your patience in advance as I go here, there and everywhere in today's post.




    I am feeling at a crossroads in life though honestly the things eating at my brain aren't entirely life or death situations. It's just me overthinking yet again, which is even most frustrating.

    1. The dietician I'd been seeing since starting recovery back in 2015 has come back from her maternity leave over the summer. When she was gone, I began to see a new one a new one. I know I can't continue to see both of them from my moral perspective and time-wise that's just too much for one week. So now, I'm weighing my options. I have asked my family what they think in the hopes they would make the decision for me but alas they know that that's my go-to and weren't much help. I know I need to learn to decide for myself. (Isn't that what adulting is afterall?) My main issue is I don't know what voice to follow. When I start to lean towards one, I question whether if it's the eating disorder or if it's recovery Kaylee wanting it.
    2. Then I have also been struggling career-wise, kinda rethinking decisions I made years ago that I can't change now. I constantly wonder what if--what if I said yes to a different firm for my internship, what if I was never an accounting major, what if I attended a different school, what if I stayed in the Philippines? But that doesn't get me anywhere; I am still left figuring out where should I go now. I am not feeling fulfilled in my current state. My future doesn't excite me and that in itself scares the hell out of me.  moving states? staying where i am? I know I don't have to make this decision now but I can't avoid it too, always sweeping it under the rug for future me. I have been contemplating moving states after graduating or even completely leaving my field altogether (Culinary school would be a dream!) I don't know what it is. I wish I could do both. I wish I could do it all. I don't know what I need. I sure as hell don't know what I even want. I am scared to take a risk because what if I'm even more unhappy then? 
    If this word vomit of a post hasn't already depicted, I absolutely hate making decisions. They paralyze me. But why is this so? What am I afraid of? I guess part of me doesn't want to make the 'wrong' decision as much as I know there is no wrong decision--each opportunity is a one where I can learn and grow and be a better me and all the other cliches of the sort. I also feel I don't want to deal with the consequences of my decisions and that's why I rely others/external factors to tell me which way to go. (I have even been known to resort to drawing straws, flipping coins and eeny-meeny-miny-moe-ing.) If I don't choose, when things go out of control I won't have to blame myself for the 'bad' choice as terrible as that sounds.

    If there's anything I learned through recovery, it's how little I trust my own self--whether it be my body, my gut, my heart. I don't trust myself enough to choose. I don't trust myself to be okay and get through the aftermath of said choices. I don't trust the future. I don't trust that things will work themselves out for the best in the end. I don't trust myself to be vulnerable.

    Through all of this, it amazes me that life continues to send you exactly what you need in that moment. While I was contemplating all of this, I happened to subsequently listen to these podcasts on design thinking & getting unstuck and on job crafting & getting more out of your work. A good reminder to myself that whatever happens, whatever I choose isn't permanent. That I have time to do whatever I set my mind to. That that will change. That there are multiple solutions not just a single 'perfect' one.


     I wish my mind could put to paper (...or should I say keyboard?) all my current feelings and thoughts. I don't know where I was going exactly with this post. Maybe I am looking to solicit advice (...again...) or maybe I hoped it would help me sort through my thoughts and mental barriers. Perhaps I just wanted to be able to share those podcasts for anyone else feeling the way I am currently. Whatever the case, there's another peek inside my scatterbrained brain.

    Questions:
    Are you a chronic over-thinker?
    How do you handle decisions?
    What is currently nagging at your mind? 
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    Hi there,

    First of all, sharing what I came across on campus for National Suicide Prevention Week because you can never hear this one too much:


    My week felt very forced and uninspired, not necessarily stressful but dragging, lacking purpose, an end in sight. I was going back and forth on writing this week's Week in Review because I felt I didn't have anything new to write. For me, this speaks to overall stagnation in my life at the moment. I mean, if nothing new is happening around me, what does that say about me? I don't feel like I'm growing, like I'm not going anywhere in my life. And I don't like it.


    But upon contemplating this further, I guess this is exactly when I need to be listing these accomplishments the most. So this is me attempting to embrace the banal in my week and accept where I am in my life right now.
    • Did laundry, ran the dishwasher, cooked and cleaned
    • Somewhere in there, I made more cookies for another potluck
    • Volunteered at the community garden on Saturday then the animal shelter on Sunday
    • Cried and cried and cried at my therapist, dietician and dietician appointments respectively
    • Went over to a local park about a 10ish minute walk from my apartment with packed snack and kombucha (...which then spilled all over my newly washed lunch box but managed to salvage and enjoy what was left in the container) 
    • Finished The Group, this month's book for book club, while soaking up the sunshine at said park. Also managed to fit in some swinging at the playground. Aaahhh, take me back to childhood please 
    • Roasted the rainbow aka all the veggies ever (sweet potatoes, brussels, green beans and okra to be exact)
    I've never met a roasted veggie I didn't like
    • Finish another page of my adult coloring book. Yay for more childlike self-care.! 
    • Reached out and invited friends to watch The Baby Driver. Funny movie but too much cars, guns and blood for this girl. 
    • Enjoyed some Indian food with my aunt after a bike ride together around the neighborhood pond 
    • Began watching the last season of Orphan Black. It never ceases to amaze me the talent of Tatiana Maslany (on a side note, does anyone else watch this show because I need to talk to someone about what's going on!!!!) 
    • Attended the book club meeting and ate some Thai food with my former coworkers last night
    • Had a coupon for a free smoothie so free smoothie in the 90 degree Texas Fall weather it is. I chose the pumpkin spiced protein one, which is my way of jumping on the pumpkin bandwagon (Who needs PSLs?!) though if you ask me it's still too early for the pumpkin craze  


    Questions:
    Action movies: yay or nay?
    What is your current frustration?
    How have you embraced your inner child lately--like my coloring or playground going? 
    Do you think it's pumpkin season yet? 


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    Because I'm terrible with introductions why not start with something totally random: Did you hear that last Friday was the day Albus Severus went to Hogwarts?

    I AM NOT OKAY.
    Source
    Another thing that was celebrating an anniversary this past week was, one of my favorite shows of all-time (#noshame), Gossip Girl!!! This coupled with the fact that September is my birth month, I am definitely feeling old.

    On a completely unrelated note, linking up with Meg for another Week in Review!

    • Had breakfast last Monday with my friend and former roomie. It was our last official welcome week so we had to soak up one of the remaining times of free food on a college campus. 
    • Made too much of super duper easy vegan chocolate cake just for me so my friends enjoyed some as well ☺️
    • Got through a chunk of but it seems I'm always playing catch up when it comes to reading blogs. Small steps are still steps. 
    • Posted some reads and eats.
    • Speaking of You've Got Kayl, also updated the blog's layout a bit. 
    • Worked at my new job on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Right now, since it's relatively early in the school year, it has been pretty slow. Hopefully things will pick up eventually. Got to be careful what I wish for though! 😳
    • Did yoga outdoors. Twice! For free!
    • As the title notes, I dog sat my aunt's Maltese over the weekend, which makes me want my own dog even more. I especially loved our walks together and that quiet time in nature. Crossing my fingers for early 2018. 
    • Watched Ingrid Goes West on a school night after my evening class ended at 10pm. Very out of character for me. So I would say that's an accomplishment. 
    • This past week was filled with lots of movies! Three to be precise in the past 7 days and have plans to watch another one again tonight. Aside from that unplanned movie above, I watched The Truman Show Friday night as I treated myself to Vietnamese take-out, and Ask Me Anything with my sister and her boyfriend after they joined me for dog-sitting. All this reminded me of a goal a friend of mine made at the beginning of the year to watch a movie a day. Confession time: I haven't seen many classic movies (e.g. Forrest Gump, ET,  The Matrix, Indiana Jones). So I may take a nod from her and start doing a movie a week (because 365 movies sounds like a bit much for me) to fix that.
    • After dropping my sister off for her GRE Sunday morning, I sat myself down at local coffee shop/bakery. Read my book while enjoying a cinnamon roll al fresco. Can it get any better than that? 

    Questions: 
    What did you do over the long weekend? 
    What's on your movie bucket list?

    Continue Reading
    Same old story at the end of August as I've had in the past, asking myself how we got to this point in the year. Looking ahead to the new month, there is a lot going on for me, including a trip to New York at the end of the month. Undoubtedly, as the weather outside gets cooler and the layers on my back get thicker the last third of 2017 is going to breeze by. 

    Before I get to the food, I want to remind y'all again that I mean these Recent Eats posts to be inspiration and not comparison. I want to bond over our love of foods of all kinds. I don't want to make someone feel better or worse about themselves for looking at what I'm eating. You have your own body, mind, feelings, life. Trust yourself and where your body is at at the moment. Give yourself what you need right now.
    Ooodles and ooodles of noodles
    One thing I've been loving lately = Japanese noodles! That perfect chew in every bite. 
    • Over last weekend, while in Austin, my cousin made us homemade udon noodles. He also made a bacon broth (!!!) for said noodles. Served with tofu and blanched bok choy.
    • I took some of the noodles home and used leftover vegan broth I had in the freezer (loosely based on Kylie's recipe). This time with fresh spinach, roasted brussel sprouts and crunchy, sweet Filipino dilis on top. 
    • Went out with my parents at this pop-up called Uncommon Ramen, which featured other chefs' takes on ramen. The one that night was a bouillabaisse broth with seafood and braised leeks. We also split a couple of other things amongst the three of us.  



    As I scrolled through my pictures, I noticed all these delicious vegetarian meals. Whether it be eating out--like that falafel & quinoa bowl loaded with all the Mediterranean goodies, veggie burger or a simple breakfast of arugula, black beans and sweet potatoes with a cashew sauce--or meals in--like this fig, goat cheese & walnut puff that my mother made or a quick chickpea, spinach and tomato stew thing I threw together. 

    Peaches be crazy
    Lastly, of course with the end of the season comes time to say goodbye to the summer goodies. Definitely been savoring all the summery fruits while I can--especially figs. Also depicted are peaches and plumcots. Oh, can't forget about that Texas-sized junior scoop of chocolate ice cream! 


    Questions:
    If you've been to New York, got any food recommendations?
    Have you ever made your own noodles? 
    What's your favorite summer fruit? 



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    Boy, has it been a while since I've shared some links with y'all. Or at least it feels like it has. Sending my thoughts, love and prayers to the people of Houston. It . Completely unfathomable.

    Here are more than enough reads to get you through this long weekend: Happy Friday

    Facts about time that will blow your mind.


    Fat is a noun; not an adjective.

    This NYTimes essay on failing in college.

    As someone with orthorexic tendencies, a reminder that  'clean' eating shouldn't take precedence over living life.

    Feeling like a mess?? We may actually be more put together than we give ourselves credit for. Don't forget to celebrate your adulting wins.
    For example,
    • calling your grandparents without prompting from your parents
    • scheduling your own massage/haircut/nail salon 
    • remembering to take the trash out
    What do you get when you cross bible verses and millennial speak? One of my fave lines:

    And God said, “Let there be light,” and it was lit AF.

    Loving my fellow bloggers have been writing:

    • Vangie's wonderful read on how distraction might be affecting your health--all facets of it
    • Joyce's post on the support (or rather lack of support) of friends and family in recovery, something I struggle with completely 
    • Naomi's advice on figuring out your motivation behind food and movement choices. 
    Am I making this decision out of care for myself and my body or out of a place of trying to control my body?

    Even if you graduated college years ago, these podcasts still seem totally relevant. Definitely gonna check them out.

    Discovered Rachel Cole's blog and immediately loved her musings especially this piece about making decisions when navigating the tricky process of intuitive eating.

    Some advice on platonic and romantic relationships

    Excited to watch Anthony Bourdain's upcoming documentary on food waste.

    May not be a mother but hearing a foreigner's outlook on what parenting looks like in my hometown of Manila. Side note: I only just learned that Bring Me is not a common party game here. WHAAAAT?!!

    Lots of expert tips for coping with anxiety. I personally find making to-do lists, deep breathing and observing what I see/hear helpful.

    Questions:
    What have you been reading around the interweb lately? 
    What was your favorite game from birthday parties as a kid?
    Did any of those anxiety tips resonate with you?
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    Kaylee G.

    Twenty-something year old Filipino American on her way to redefining her relationship with health and finding herself.

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