Thinking Out Loud: On Perfectionism/Motivation + Random Ramblings

September 22, 2016

Hiiiiiiiiii. Unplanned, completely spontaneous post here. Linking up with Amanda for Thursday's Thinking Out Loud!

1. How they heck do food bloggers eat out of jars?!!? The struggle to eat my peach overnight oats breakfast this morning was so real. Yes, super quick to assemble but that does not outweigh the time it takes to actually eat it. 

2. Texas hasn't gotten the memo that it's officially fall. Wore a scarf yesterday (albeit a brightly colored one!) and felt totally out of place. It surprises me every year how I surprised I get about the weather on both cold & hot extremes. I've re-read that sentence over and over and asking myself if that even makes any sense. Anyway, I am ready for it to be socially acceptable to wear boots and make pumpkin dishes. 

3. I have found this that's both outside, in the shade AND secluded enough that I can work without people distractions. It's so difficult for me to work when there are people I know around me. In other words, I'm avoiding people. Yay for productivity and introversion! (Since we're being honest and unedited here, I initially typed introvertism, which I then realized, FYI, is not a real word.)

4. I didn't do as well as I had hoped on an exam yesterday and it got me thinking last night about my recent motivation (or I guess lack thereof). Perfectionism is a large component that drove my eating disorder to begin with as it is with most EDs. Now, as I've progressed through recovery, I can undoubtedly say I've gotten better at accepting my imperfections--physically, mentally, emotionally, etc. However, over the past months I've been worried about losing my drive, that sense of determination to achieve whatever. It wasn't necessarily that the exam grade wasn't an A+++ or that others did better than I did; rather, I'm frustrated with myself for giving up somehow. The way I'd describe it is like I'm deflated, like I'm settling. I haven't pushed beyond my limits not just in recovery but in life in general. I don't want to go back to being driven by perfection. That was exhausting to say the least. Yet, there has to be some semblance of balance I can achieve between the two, right? 

5. Super excited to attend an event tonight sponsored by ERC Dallas where speakers will be talking about their success in ED recovery--including author Jenni Schaefer! I haven't read her entire book, Life Without Ed, but we've read parts during our support group and based on those passages, it's going to be a enlightening and inspirational talk for sure!

What is one thing you're excited for?
Please tell me how to properly make jar meals. 
How to you balance staying motivated and perfectionism?

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