Happy Sunday y'all! Hope your weekend's going swell. Time for some links! But before that, a little reminder for us all:



1. If you're in need of some mental calming, click here. I could seriously watch these spin for daaaaaays. That giant one is crazy! I've always been fascinated with the pottery wheel and actually tried it a couple of times. Definitely want to make more time for this hobby


2. Kylie's words on health spoke deep into my soul. A call to reevaluate the choices you make. I am so thankful that recovery has brought me this clarity. I used to force myself to exercise almost every single day. I wasn't enjoying it. I wasn't because I loved myself. I wanted to change who I was and I thought that I had to change the physical side of me in order to be accepted. Sometimes we need to take a step back and really ask yourself why. Go back to the purpose--the root of it all.

3. I made these delicious biscuits from The First Mess for breakfast one day last week. Sadly, I couldn't make the gravy because of my limited pantry and it was a tad undercooked. 😩  But t'was delicious nonetheless! I forget how much I like almond meal until I'm eating it. Yuuuum, PLUS it has sweet potato. And tbh, in my opinion, sweet potato > reg. potato any day

My much sadder looking version

4. As I've probably mentioned before, it takes me a while to open up to people. In the past few years, I've become more extroverted and comfortable in my own skin (forever an introvert at ❤︎ though). Quite frankly, I consider myself a friendly person but I struggle to make long lasting friendships especially in college where the culture can be...fickle/fleeting/superficial? Though I am in a sense the opposite of this Cosmo article's author (i.e. not incredibly outgoing), the rationale behind her thoughts remains: the desire for independence. I need to let people be there for me. I need to conquer my fear of asking for help, of reaching out, of trusting others. Vulnerability is sign of strength, of bravery, not of weakness. It is necessary to forge these friendship that I so dearly crave.

I have trouble trusting that someone who chooses to love you rather than loving you by default. 

5. As Meghan so wonderfully discusses, you are allowed to take up space. Scratch that--it's your RIGHT as a human being to take up space. I struggle with this all the time, more mentally and emotionally than anything else. I hate feeling like a burden and often believe I'm plaguing people by being around them. The people pleaser in me strives for only saying what (I believe) people want to hear, to stay quiet even if I have something to say. I think nobody wants to know about the weight on my shoulders; they have enough on their own plates. There are bigger problems in life. I should be able to handle this. In reality, you are entitled to have your opinion heard, to start conversations with others without feeling like a disturbance in their lives, to share your fears, problems, accomplishments--no matter how big or small.
Questions:
Have you tried doing pottery before?
Almond meal: yay or nay? 
Are you afraid of taking up space whether it be mentally, physically or emotionally? 

• Made some breakfast nachos for a late Sunday morning meal. Sweet potato chips + scrambled eggs + sour cream + pico de gallo + green onions + smoky cheddar + shaved carrots... mmmhmm. Managed not to burn the chips this time. 
• Rediscovered my liking of playing the piano and proceeded to relearn some old pieces and try out new ones. Great way to productively procrastinate. 🎶

• As I mentioned, the past few days have been tough on my emotional state. The I'm-about-to-burst-into-tears-at-any-moment-for-no-reason mood. Chose to clear my mind with the best show ever aka Gossip Girl (hey, no hatin' allowed here). This scene always gets me! 😌

• Ordered Warby Parker shades for a home try-on. I've been wanting prescription sunglasses for the longest time. The glasses struggle is real. I know, I know, they all look alike. I swear they're different frames though! Thoughts? 
• Managed to return said glasses after some intense searching for the USPS drop-off box on campus. They definitely need to be more efficient on where they place these things. 

• Attended my first hockey game! Puh-retty cool. (Haha. Get it? Because ice! 😂) Hmmm, not really a sports person I think but I can get into hockey. Just in time for the playoffs too. Go, Stars! ⭐️
• Last night I de-shelled my first lobster tail. Much harder than it sounds especially if you want it still pretty looking and intact like I do.
• Figured out deferred taxes, pension plans, accounting changes & errors for my test on Tuesday. Exciting stuff right there. 

Trying this Thinking Out Loud thing again. Quite honestly, I've been having a lot of negative thoughts lately. My mind has gotten to me, trapping myself in downward spirals of self-unlove. Thought it would be a good idea to type stuff out & kinda declutter my mind. Ooomm.

• Currently eating some form of chocolate overnight oats with walnut butter, prepared sans recipe. The milk/oat proportions completely skewed. Note to self: Follow a recipe. 

• Sunday night I attended the TEDx event at my school. It was my first time to watch a TED talk in person. One of them was entitled "You are not what you eat." Food thoughts have been rampant lately so definitely good for me to be reminded that other factors shape one's, uhhh shape. I am more than the traditional nourishment that I consume; food cannot define us alone.
  
  

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• This also reminded me to check my food privilege.
• As much as I enjoyed the talks themselves, I felt so... unaccomplished? Here are these incredibly talented, multi-faced people doing amazing things, making a difference. Then there's me, who can barely make it through each day without doubting herself, whose room is a complete mess, who is not learning from her mistakes, who needs to fix ___, _____, _____--a never-ending list of problems that are aren't real problems at all.
• Been thinking more and more about getting a tattoo. Something teeny tiny and ridiculously simple. I'm leaning towards either the libra constellation or the libra symbol (see below). With my future being in the corporate world, however, I . Plus my pain tolerance is preeeeeetty low. What are the least painful places to get one that is both professional AND that I'll be able to see regularly? 

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• It feels so good to get my summer plans all sorted out ❤︎ Exciting stuff going down the next few months! My last final ends on the 30th--even before my university's official finals week begins! Though I'll be done relatively earlier, that means craziness for the next 23 days. Yikes. 
• But the future is terrifying me. I don't know what I want and I don't know what to do. I feel everything is coming toofast. Can we please s l o w  d  o  w  n? I hate disappointing people and I hate the fact that I'm letting my fear of said disappoint get to me. As much as I need be selfish with this decision, I can't let go of these expectations. I'm afraid of making the "wrong" choice, if there is such a thing. Despite what everyone is saying how this isn't permanent, it feels incredibly so. 
• On a lighter note, I've had to wear a suit almost every weekday for the past 3 weeks. Thank the lords these interviews are (finally) over!!! Shorts have never felt better PLUS the weather has been glorious.