since there was no snow this time around, here's a photo from another crazy winter we had in 2013

I was walking home from campus yesterday thinking about how terribly cold I was and how I absolutely do not know how to dress for the bitter cold, below freezing weather that came upon Texas this past week. Then I was thinking more about the weather, how annoyingly capricious it can be (it's supposed to be in the 60s this weekend 😒 ). And also about how I can't control the fact that it feels like 4 degrees outside; I just have to adapt, prepare and make the best of what life gives me. Then this got me thinking (linking up with Running With Spoons for this one!) even more how we try to control other things in our life that aren't really controllable either. But for some reason I get so frustrated with myself when those other things go awry even if it's not in my power. Crazy how the mind jumps all over the place in this way.




I wasn't originally going to post something about this today but I read Robyn's post on skin care from earlier today where she wrote...

source

Amidst the midterm craziness that's about to commence, I wanted to to assure you all that I am, in fact, still alive despite the inactiveness of this blog. Because of said craziness, I'm going to keep avoid writing and refer you instead to some other awesome posts from around the web. Peace out, beansprouts!


1. I oh so very much miss the blogging verse especially staying up to date with Julia's blog. I know this is more than a tad (aka a month late) but it just goes to show how I keep meaning to write this blog post and keep putting it off. Just had to share her words on affirmations. When I'm feeling overwhelmed, my go-to affirmation of sorts comes from Brene Brown: "No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough."

2. What's procrastination without adding more to my to-make recipes? Like this black eyed pea hummus, or spelt foccacia, or these coconut almond bites... You get the idea.

3. We get it in our heads that college is the end all, be all. They will be the "best four years of your life." Recently, with it being my senior year, I have felt I wasted these so called best years. But as this article notes, life doesn't stop after graduation. There will always be more time to find yourself, to recreate yourself, to fail, to succeed, to live.

4. To anyone struggling with body image & self-love right now: A good reminder to keep at it and take care of your body, mind and soul. Your weight is just another meaningless number is the grand scheme of things. You are more than what you look like.
5. Lastly, I will leave you with this post from Buzzfeed to honor Mental Health Week this past week. Seriously, one of the most powerful, ED-related things I've read in a while.

"Always I wonder if recovery ever exists. If I’m ever to be rid of this. I feel like it will always be on the periphery, a thing inside of me. It will always be there within me and every day I will think about it as it looks me in the face. It is about food and it is not about food at all; it has nothing to do with food but with things even more primal and closer to the bottom of being human. It is about control and desire and denial and all I can do is wrestle with it." 

Questions:
Got any recipes to share? 
Or affirmations? 
How is your October going? 

Since I finished up with school last week, I have been unusually free, which I know is not something to complain about. But I just don't know what to do with myself. This emptiness in my schedule leads to emptiness in my head. When I am not busy, my thoughts creep up on me. I begin to feel alone, hopeless and unsuccessful. Luckily, I made plans for the next few days to keep me preoccupied. Overall, despite the ups & downs, it was a pretty good week full of pretty good (and completely needed) reads. Hope you had a terrific weekend & happy mother's day to all you mothers out there!

Empty room, empty mind

1. Can we take the time to appreciate the fact that Kylie is always spot on with her blog posts? She perfectly illustrates how there's no restriction without guilt and vice versa. As she notes, it's all about balance. Having that seesaw skewed in either direction is not healthy. Deep in my ED, I felt I had to earn . I wanted to be "normal" but that version of normalcy was dictated by what society was telling me was "good" or "bad." To live rules free, that's what normal eating is to me. That's I want my relationship with food to be. Easier said than done.

Having guilt over your eating doesn’t make you thin, just like loving yourself doesn’t make you gain weight.  

2. As noted above, I was feeling completely restless this weekend. And this TC article: Why you need to love yourself first before you love someone else was just what I needed to hear. Strange how life works that way, it gives you what you need when you need it the most. Only you can solve your own problems. Only you can be your answer. I need to learn to cheer myself up, to be own company, to discover what I like and what I don't. There will come a point in life where I will have to learn to be alone without allowing loneliness to consume me.

3. Lovelovelove this Refinery29 post. Women give their advice on the most important thing they learned about body image confidence in their 20s. Trust, respect, appreciation, perspective, acceptance. Those were some of the common words they shared. My biggest takeaway from it, however, is that there's not just one form of confidence. You have to find it within yourself, whatever that may mean for you.

4. Lifestyle blogger & actress Jordan Reid shared her ED story on Medium. From her desire of perfectionism to overcoming her shame, it was definitely relatable. She took ownership of her ED in this post. Rather than continue to hide it, she acknowledged her former self; she accepted it as a part of her and ultimately made her who she is today. Running from our past only allows it to control us more.

5. Ellen's Mother's Day surprise for Mila Kunis & Kristen Bell. 😻  Relationship goals right there!!!

Questions:
Would love to hear your personal body image advice! 
How do you keep busy in times of loneliness? 
Did you do anything special for Mother's Day? 

Happy St. Patty's day! For all of you not wearing green today, I am sending you virtual pinches. I've got a full day but more on that tomorrow.

Festive socks for the win!

Here are some links that are completely unrelated to St. Patrick's Day!

1. Another week, another Buzzfeed quiz.


I tried to find the meaning of Lakynn but it took so many failed Google attempts then I found this: "Form of Catherine, Follower of Christ, Anointed, Pure." Hmmm... Side Note: I was always jealous of those with i's in their names. I wanted to be that cool girl who dots her i's with hearts, stars, or swirlies. I never wanted to change my name per se but if I could, I would change the spelling to Kaylie.

2. Through my recovery, I'm learning to live more in the moment. To be in the present rather than constantly worrying about the future. But mindfulness has been a tricky thing for me. I second guess myself and feel like I'm doing this mindfulness thing in the "wrong" way. I read this article and I have to admit it reassured me that maybe I am becoming more self-aware than I give myself credit for.

3. "Body positivity is a mindset not a goal." ---> YES. I love this piece on the ups and downs that come with learning to accept your body. We all have our bad hair days, days where we feel like crap and look the part too, days where no matter what goes well, we'll always pick apart our flaws. But there are also those days when you can look at the mirror, think "Hell yeah, I look good." and mean it 100%, with all your heart.

4. Oh, how I wish I had graphic design skills to make calligrams like these. My favorites = 5, 8, 11, 23 & 41!

Calligram, noun - a word or piece of text in which the design and layout of the letters creates a visual image related to the meaning of the words themselves. 



5. There are no words to explain how this poem called You Are More Than A Body makes me feel. Remember your body is only temporary; it is your soul that endures.

Questions:
If you could change your name, would you? To what?
Have you tried practicing mindfulness?
How are you celebrating (or not) St. Patrick's Day?