Week in Review: Nourishing Oneself
Well, as we're being completely honest on here, this entire week sucked. I guess it should have been a sign on Wednesday when I had a terrible allergic reaction possibly to something I ate. Long story short, life was out of my control and it annoyed me. I went to the health clinic on campus where they gave me medicine and a shot, later in the day went to see an allergist, and finally got blood drawn for testing. We'll see in a couple of weeks if they can pinpoint what I should be staying away from. Until then, it's more allergy meds for me + now carrying an Epipen. Woo. Did I mention I hate needles?
Then starting on Thursday, I felt irritable, anxious, depressed, hopeless, alone, shameful, empty, numb, exhausted--you name the terrible feeling and I felt it--for no apparent reason. Or I guess it was a culmination of everything. Every little detail. All at once. I would expound but I am just so tired of thinking about everything and can't fully describe what I actually am feeling. I am just tired of being who I am and it frustrates me that I cannot for the life of me accept myself for just that. I have so many great things going on in my life but can't be grateful and happy for all of my blessings. This just fuels my self-hatred further. I honestly think I am going crazy sometimes. My head won't stop. I am on the verge of tears at every moment. Yet, I am tired of crying. Tired of trying. What's the point of it all anyway?
On that note, I thought for this Week in Review it might help to talk about some of the ways I nourished myself in every aspect--mind, body and soul--over the week though at the moment it is hard for me to see them as accomplishments because they haven't helped me feel any better. BTW, thanks for reading/listening even in my worst moments.
- Listened to the Food Psych podcast episode featuring Immaeatthat, which was even better than it sounds
- Watched the documentary of the Enron scandal as a way to at least feign productivity for one of my classes
- Interviewed for a potential summer gig baking at a pie company
- Skipped my 2nd class in my almost 4 years of college after Wednesday's allergy adventure
- Went for a couple of walks to take my mind of of things
- Finished reading another book that came at exactly the right time
Don't ignore your body just because your mind is scared. Your mind is a tool that can bring your body peace. - Hannah Hart
- Honoring my cravings and getting that berry, chia & spinach smoothie
- Attended a (free!) pilates class where we were also given (free!) tamales
- Bought a new moisturizer from Trader Joe's to try out. Also applied lotion one night. Note to self to do this more often.
- Treated myself to a chicken sandwich that I had a 50% off coupon. Despite eating in the car while in traffic, I felt it was a pretty mindful meal
- Celebrated National Grilled Cheese Day with a kale, cheddar and roasted garlic sammie.
- Getting my cultural fulfilment by going to see Cynthia D'Aprix Sweeney, author of The Nest, speak at the Dallas Museum of Art
- Started This is Us
- Studied with other people rather than isolate myself even if this meant being less productive than I would have been alone
- Cried all my feelings out on Friday night...and Saturday night...and basically all weekend long...
- Reached out to a friend who apparently knew that I was feeling off before I even told her (s/o to ya!)
- Remembering to just breathe when things get tough